This isn’t about basketball, it’s about the American dream — the right to stuff our faces and stomachs with our tastiest treats, and without paying a dime.

Virginia led Miami 56-32 with 4:09 remaining last Monday night when I flipped that game on before KU-K-State. The Hurricanes’ Michael Nwoko went to the free throw line and the UVA students behind the basket behaved like it was 56-56.

Nwoko missed. 

Then the students amped up the noise. It felt like the game was on the line. What the…

Nwoko missed again and John Paul Jones Arena lost its collective mind. Seriously. What. The… 

From the Richmond Times-Dispatch in 2023: “A promotion at the arena gives all fans in attendance a certificate for free bacon if an opponent misses consecutive free throws.”

Well no wonder! 

Also… What a fantastic freaking idea! 

Virginia Tech had it first, judging from another epic moment involving two missed Miami free throws in Blacksburg last February. Good to see the pandemonium spread across the state.

Now it needs to take over the country. Or Oklahoma the very least. 

They gift students free taquitos at OU, I hear, for two missed free throws by the opponent. That’s a start. 

OSU might get some Gallagher-Iba mojo back, just don’t expect the 2000s to return. https://t.co/wTBxyjS1X6

— Sellout Crowd (@selloutcrowd_) February 3, 2024

It also ain’t bacon. Bacon, or really anything fried, is the trick here.

Something close to Oklahomans’ hearts and stomachs is the trick. 

Something close to Oklahomans’ hearts and stomachs might result in an exercise in vocal chords at the Lloyd Noble Center, a place not exactly known for fan volume. It might do the same at Gallagher-Iba Arena at a time fans need an excuse to make a difference. 

How about this: Two missed free throws by someone on the opposing team inside GIA means a free plate of free cheese fries from you know where. Or a free large Big Country pizza from you know where. 

Two missed free throws inside the LNC means free chopped brisket from Ray’s, Van’s or Rudy’s. 

Or, if everyone wants to steer clear of advertising conflicts, how about these broader suggestions (besides bacon) close to Oklahomans’ culinary tastes: 

1 Biscuits and gravy

2 Just gravy

3 Okra with ranch dressing

4 Just ranch dressing

5 Chicken fried steak

6 Chicken fried chicken

7 Chicken fried turkey

8 Fried onion burgers

9 Just the fried onions 

10 Fried catfish

11 Frito chili pie

12 Just the Fritos, bbq flavored

13 Just the chili

14 Just the pie, pecan flavored 

15 Fried pie

That’s 15 suggestions worth 15 different excuses to get fans invested in the Sooners and reinvested in the Cowboys… by investing in something that doesn’t even have to do with the Sooners or the Cowboys.

This isn’t even about basketball, minus the part where the other team has to blow both free throws.

This is about the American dream – the right to stuff our faces and stomachs with our tastiest treats, and without paying a dime.

I’m telling you it can work. Look at the madhouses in Virginia. 

Put free food on the table, make it nearer and dearer to our taste buds than taquitos, and watch the crowds form, the noise build and the free throws by the other team clank.

Texas would have ranked sixth among SEC programs in home men’s basketball attendance last season. Oklahoma? Dead last.@byelilederman looks into where both programs stand on home attendance and how they’ll fit into their new conference home next season: https://t.co/aZZV9DxLxO

— Sellout Crowd (@selloutcrowd_) January 23, 2024